My first anal

My first anal wasn't so bad. It was with my 5th cock, and we'll call him Eric... We were having sex on our side, my back to him. He kept "slipping" out and rubbing my asshole with his cock. I knew he wanted to try anal, because he had "slipped" a few times before too. He would lick my ass when he gave me oral. He would run his fingers down my ass crack. He would press his thumb on my hole, just press it hard without entering me. The pressure of it really turned me on, but I wasn't interested in penetration. I just thought it would hurt too bad. That night that he kept slipping and hitting my ass hole, I finally asked him "Do you want to?" and he said "so fucking bad, I feel like I could die to get it." He said he had never done it before and he wanted it to be a special first for the two of us. I didn't really want to, but I wanted to please him so badly, because he was really good at pleasing me. He lay me on my stomach and pulled my ass into the air and started to lick my ass hole and eat my pussy. He put one finger in my ass and it felt HUGE, then he put one more and just kept stretching me. He lay me back down beside him (my ass to him) and fucked my pussy really slowly and fingered my ass. He was whispering in my ear, telling me how excited he was. How sexy my ass was. He said "your ass is so big and sexy, but your little ass hole is so small." I was getting really turned on by now. We didn't have any lube and to be honest I'd never even thought about that, when he was getting ready to put his cock in my ass he said "I'm going to change it now, going to fill you up with my cock. I'm going to fuck you in your ass."

I was so scared, I said, "Please take your time, don't fuck me, please baby please."

I felt him pull out of my pussy and I held my breathe, he must have realised it because he said "breathe, babe, breathe" He had one hand grabbing and squeezing my breast. I took a deep breathe and felt him push against my ass hole, at first it felt a lot like when he would push his thumb against it but then i felt it go in, it was like a POP. I saw fireworks, it hurt and it felt amazing, but more so it hurt! He let out a moan, almost a scream when his cock head was finally inside me. He barely lasted a minute and I felt this pushing sensation when he exploded. Before he pulled out he said he was sorry for coming so quickly, but he said he had never felt anything like that in his life, it was so hot and tight he said. I didn't say anything, I just lay there with his cock still in my ass. Even when he was pulling out it hurt. After he pulled out he saw he had made me bleed. He started apologizing, saying he was sorry, he would never do it again, never ask me to do that again. He said he felt so terrible, so nasty, he said he had seen it on some porn videos and wanted to try it and he was sorry! I didn't answer him. I didn't tell him that it was amazing, it felt wrong, sexy, dirty and amazing. But even with those promises, three days later he was begging me "please baby, just let me put it in, just let me put the head in". and of course I let him...